OMGWTFBBQ, DOUGLAS ADAMS?

Not cool, my friend. I just got done reading the last book in the Hitchhiker's Guide series, and I am thoroughly disappointed.

( Holy spoilers, Zaphod! )

Oi! God!

Why do you allow things like American Idol to keep happening? Furthermore, why do you allow them to happen right before LOST when I've got nothing but procrastination on my mind and nothing else to watch? Pls for to fix that. Thx ( Read more... )

Wow. I know I should have seen it before now, but I just watched Monster and wow. Just holy shit wow. The performances were just fantastic and I'd almost want to watch it again but I think it'd crush my soul. I think I need to flee and find the stupidest comedy in the world to counteract it, actually. But holy hell... Wow ( Read more... )

Yes brain, I'm putting you on learn mode. Not recall mode, not study mode. I, the body, haven't actually gone to class so I don't actually know the material they are expecting us to regurgitate tomorrow in our final. After you have recovered from this morning's shock, please report for duty. I've got a lot of book to read and a lot of powerpoint " ( Read more... )

Open Letter to the Groundskeeper of my Apartment Building

Hey, Groundskeep!

Stop shoveling the sidewalk at 1:30 in the goddamn morning, plzkthnx. Oh, and if you insinuate that we haven't been picking up after our dog one more time, I am going to cut you.

Sincerely,
Irritated Resident

Open Letter to the Elephants in the StairwellWhy hello ( Read more... )

An Open Letter to the Four Boys that have RUINED My Kiosk Experience

Okay Guys in the Hall...
What is it with you and scratching your balls all the way down the hallway? C'mon, do you not realize how awkward that looks? Isn't it a titch embarassing? Oh, and don't even try to act like we don't know what you're doing when your hand is in your pocket ( Read more... )

Dear DST ( Read more... )

An Open Letter to My Clock
Dear Father Time,

I'm in a bit of a fix. I have a metric crapload of reading to do this weekend. Granted, if I devote all of tonight and tomorrow to the cause I could get it done, but I want some "me" time. I need my R&R; specifically, my bike rides and walks around the lake before the big freeze comes and I lock myself ( Read more... )

I think I have tuberculosis. I've been coughin' like nobody ain't never been coughin' before. How'dya like that for rampant negation, eh? This is what I've become. With that, ( some open letters. )

Open Letter to Cal, and every other Australian.... but mostly Cal.

So I now use Aussie brand Shampoo & Conditioner. I am exploiting your "Fresh Australian Guava" and every single stereotype from your continent, country, and culture, mothafuckas! BWAHAHAHAHA! G'day and kangaroos are currently "Down Under" my roommate's forty dollar shampoo! How ( Read more... )